Wednesday, January 04, 2012

2011 in Photographs Part One (In which I evade dangerous predators, bend spinach pasta to my will and learn to fear my mother)

Inspired (as always!) by the lovely Elsie from A Beautiful Mess, I've decided to share a photo from my iPhone for every month of the last year.

You won't find much to admire in the composition or the lighting, and I'm afraid my stylist is on hiatus.  They're not what one might call great art, but I've carried these photos with me through a bumpy, transitional, eye-opening year -- and I think there's something sort of lovely in that thought.

January, 2011:

I remember standing in front of my bathroom window with a mouthful of toothpaste (I like to walk around when I brush my teeth) when a speck of red in the bare trees outside caught my eye.  After a fair amount of squinting and spitting (toothpaste burns when you leave it in your mouth too long), my eyes made out the hawk and figured out that the red spot was the inside of his lunch.  I'm no vegetarian, but as the life partner of a small furry creature, I was a little disturbed -- ESPECIALLY since I've let said small furry creature run around unattended on my deck, which is right across from this hawk's picnic spot!  The thought that his sweet, warm, affectionate little life could have been literally snatched away in an instant --- well, lesson learned.  When he goes adventuring these days, it's under my very watchful eyes.

February, 2011:

Radiant momma-to-be Julia and her bellyful of Squidgy (who has since been born and given a respectable name) shows off the spinach pasta we made from scratch.  Her husband Robin is a from-scratch kind of guy with incredible patience and a seemingly endless tolerance for hunger.  I've always been an instant gratification type when it comes to my dinner.  It took FOREVER to make this pasta and then transform it into a mushroom lasagna, but when the first fresh, delicious bite hit my tongue I understood.  You can take all the shortcuts you like and things will be just fine -- you probably won't even know what you're missing.  But if you want something truly delicious, you've got to relish each and every step along the way.

March, 2011:

Once upon a time, my mom Suzy, her little sister Lise and I took a trip to a Medieval Times Castle far, far away (yes, when you live on the east side, the Exhibition grounds qualify as far, far away).  You can see that we got into the spirit of things -- and the SPIRITS of things, if you catch my drift.  Anyway, we had a great time at the show (of course, I'm always happy when I get to eat with my hands and yell at people).  As you can imagine, leaving the place was a bit like being in the middle of a cattle stampede if the cattle were greased up, slightly tipsy and waving pointed sticks.  These drunk frat guys behind us were getting increasingly obnoxious and inappropriate, "accidentally" bumping into my tiny aunt and making stupid jokes.  She shot them a few dirty looks and told them to get lost, to no avail.  Unfortunately for them, they didn't know whose sister they were messing with.

As long as I live, I'll never forget the sight of my mother whipping furiously around, drawn up to her full 5 feet and 3 inches in righteous indignation.  The force of her glare seemed to stop them in their tracks as she spat "Back the eff off!" They muttered apologies as they gathered the limp shreds of their dignity,  and then, as ordered, backed the eff off.  I've never been so proud to be her offspring.

This roller coaster ride of self-indulgence and bad photography will continue tomorrow, or tomorrow-ish, in Part Two (In which I spy signs of spring, marvel at minor miracles and do my part for world domination).

Until then...


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